Love Being Yourself
by Godlovesme
Summary: Hermione is in her seventh year, and she finds her Professor Snape fascinating, but she also finds that a certain Malfoy isn't who she thought he was either. A story about love, and the strength it takes to put yourself first. HrSS, HrD.
1. Eavesdropping and Projects

A/N: This fic is rated R. Also it is a Hermione/Snape (and Hermione/Draco) so there's some underage stuff… although to my knowledge the age of consent is 16 in Britain. So Hermione is past that, this is the seventh year. Snape is not a traitor, Lucius is not in jail, and Sirius is not dead either (I just put that in, I'm not sure if Sirius is even going to play a part in this fic) so basically it is Seventh year, minus HBP and OotP.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I am not JK Rowling. I am not making any money whatsoever for this piece of fiction. This is purely fan fiction.

Hermione had been watching him for days now. She watched him as he haughtily lectured the class on potions. She watched him as he artfully demonstrated brewing an amazingly difficult potion, and she watched him smirk while watching the class struggle with the same potion. She watched him, and she didn't understand why she was feeling the way she felt about him. Five days ago she would have been disgusted if anyone had told her she would feel even remotely akin to want for the horrid man, but that was five days ago. That was before the incident.

Maybe calling it an incident is a little dramatic, but it changed her whole opinion on him in an instant. She was coming in from a visit with Hagrid after curfew, and she was sneaking around the school hoping that she wouldn't encounter any teachers, or Filch. Peering around a corner she saw Snape striding toward her down the hall. She quickly ducked back around the corner, but couldn't find anywhere to hide. Resignedly she accepted her fate and waited for him to come around the corner. However he seemed to be taking a little longer than he should've been with his long stride, so she peeked her head back around the corner. Snape was still there, but he was reading a crumpled piece of parchment and looking like he was going to explode in excitement. He looked so transformed from the snarling potions master, into someone more human, someone fun to be around. Not expecting to see that, Hermione let out a little gasp of surprise. Which brought Snape's attention to her.

"See something interesting, Miss Granger?" Snape asked raising one eyebrow, excitement still shining in his eyes, even though he was guarding his face.

"No, but I dare say you have?" Hermione asked, startling herself with her boldness.

Snape looked like he was contemplating either subtracting fifty points, or sharing what seemed to be so exciting to him. After some thought he decided on the latter, "For your information Miss Granger, I was just accepted as a High Master in the Society for the Mastery of Potions." Snape's mouth twitched in the corners, and he looked like he could hardly contain himself, but he didn't dare lose it in front of a student. However Hermione gave him what he was looking for. She knew exactly what it meant to be a High Master in the Society for the Mastery of Potions; it was a high honor. There were only five High Masters at a time, and they were in it for life. For Snape to be chosen it meant that out of all the potions masters in the world, he was in the top five, not to mention that he was probably the youngest High Master in the last four centuries.

"Professor that's wonderful! But I bet you were a shoo in, I doubt that there is anyone in the world who could brew potions better than you can."

Snape gave her a startled look. Alright, maybe the flattery was a little too much, while she was actually very impressed what she really wanted was to get out of this detention-less and with Gryffindor having the same amount of points than when she left, so she changed tactics.

"Wow, If I were you I would be celebrating with everyone I knew," Hermione said, excitement for him still in her voice. 'Come on Snape, go, go celebrate, go and let me be. You know you want to.' But her inner pleading must've shown on her eyes because Snape raised his eyebrow again and checked his watch.

"My, my Miss Granger, you're out quite late. After curfew I see."

Hermione immediately turned red. Impossibly Snape's eyebrow rose higher, and she knew what was coming next. But then instead of the detention she had been waiting for, his face widened into a grin, and he just kept walking towards her and around the corner. It was only after he had passed her that he threw out 'Go to bed Hermione before someone else catches you.' And then he was gone.

Hermione. He had called her Hermione. And he had grinned. It was almost too impossible to comprehend, but after that Hermione just couldn't stop watching him. She knew that somewhere under that cold demeanor, and snarling mouth there was a real person. A real person who could get excited, and who could be generous. A real person that she wanted to get to know. But she couldn't, because he was her teacher, and where and when it really counted he was that man with the cold demeanor, and snarling mouth. She probably would never see the excited man ever again.

------+------

"Hermione, what's the difference between a Snarwaggle and a Snarwiggle?" Ron asked looking up at her from his position on the floor where he was doing his homework.

"One wigs and the other wags?" Harry offered from his spot on the floor behind the couch Hermione was sitting on.

Hermione herself was sprawled out on the couch in the Gryffindor common room reading Memoirs of a Geisha because unlike everyone else, she had finished her homework days earlier. "The Snarwaggle produces magical dust from its tail, and the Snarwiggle produces it from its long snout." She answered.

"Honestly? That seems rather simple though doesn't it? A little _too_ simple," Ron said, stretching out on the floor.

"Well it's definitely not going to get you full marks, you also have to outline the magical properties of the magical dust, and the similarities and differences in the dust from the Snarwaggle and the Snarwiggle. Which I'm not going to help you with by the way." Hermione said looking over her book at Ron sprawled out on the floor. She caught the rolled up ball of paper that was coming towards her head from the other side of the couch without even looking.

Harry's head popped up from the other side of the couch, "Aw man Hermione, I didn't get you?"

"You're just too predictable Harry," Hermione grinned and winked at him.

Ron sighed loudly and sat up and started to gather all his notes up, "Well then we might as well go to the library then." He turned to see Hermione and Harry's eyes widened with shock. Ron rolled his eyes, "Well I don't have any notes on the magical dust properties for Snarwaggles and Snarwiggles, do you Harry?" Harry shook his head. "Well then what do you propose we do other than going to the library?" They looked at Hermione and her pile of notes expectantly.

"Well we better leave now if we're going to the library," Hermione smiled and caught the sock that came flying at her head.

------+------

They were walking towards the library when they heard the words 'muggle' and 'deatheater' drawled out from around the corner. Knowing exactly who it was speaking they quietly sidled up to the corner and peered around. Just as they were expecting, Draco Malfoy was there speaking to Blaise, Pansy and his two cronies Goyle and Crabbe.

"So my father said to me "If you don't become a deatheater and uphold the family name I will kill you," of course he said it in a much more descriptive way, you know my father's way with words." Draco was gesturing towards his attentive audience.

"So what did you say then Draco?" Pansy said in an awed voice.

"Well I said to him "Listen Father, this family ends with me. Mother is barren, and I'm your only child, if you kill me the Malfoy family ends," Well, you know what came next." All four of the nodded knowingly. "So after I got up off the floor and said 'you know Father, I've read somewhere that the crucio sterilizes men if it has been cast on them on a regular basis. Perhaps Mother isn't the barren one, you are.' Cause you know Voldemort right, he casts crucio like he casts the tooth cleaning spell in the mornings, doesn't even think about it. Of course, by the look of his teeth I doubt he even knows how to use the cleaning spell."

Pansy stifled a giggle, and Blaise nodded grinning and then added, "So what happened next? Get thrown in the dungeon?"

"Only for a few days, but you know what it's like down there." Draco said nonchalantly.

"Yah it's more like an S&M fantasy than a dungeon, my mother rents it out from Lucius every so often for one of her Domme sex parties." Goyle said as the rest laughed.

"Yes but I was locked down there with some house elves, and they hardly inspire a man do they. Well, except maybe Potter, did you know he has his own personal house elf here? And get this, the house elf was one of my father's 'special' elves, if you know what I mean?" The whole group of them were laughing so hard they were falling over themselves.

Harry pulled his head around looking queasy, "I think I've heard enough," he whispered.

Ron was trying hard not to die laughing, and Hermione was just surprised.

"Yes I'm sure that was very interesting for the three of you." The three of them almost jumped out of their skin, and Hermione let out a shriek when they turned to find Snape leaning against the wall behind them. The laughter immediately cut off from around the corner, and now Ron and Hermione were looking queasy along with Harry. Snape just stood there watching them as they got whiter and whiter, and then he added, "Twenty points from Gryffindor for eaves dropping. And stop looking petrified, I'm not a dementor." Then he strode off around the corner.

"Who was that Professor?" They heard Pansy ask Snape from around the corner.

"Oh, just some nosy first-years," Snape said.

They didn't wait to hear what else was going to be said, they ran as fast as they could to the library, and then hid themselves in a corner at the back.

------+------

"I don't believe it, I just don't. There's no way that Malfoy is not a deatheater. It must've been staged." Ron was shaking his head.

"So what, they knew we were going to go to the library at that exact time?" Hermione came around the corner carrying textbooks on magical creatures for Harry and Ron with a skeptical look on her face.

"What did Malfoy mean by Dobby being one of his father's 'special' house elves?" Harry asked still looking queasy.

"Well from the description of their dungeon…" Hermione trailed off when she noticed Harry's glare at her.

"How could we have been so wrong!" Ron was banging his head against the table.

"Well look at it this way, Malfoy is still an insufferable prat to us, his father is still a deatheater, and at least Pansy, Blaise, and Malfoy have all seen Voldemort if not also Crabbe and Goyle." Hermione said reasonably

"AND WHAT WAS WITH GOYLE?" Harry almost screamed.

"Yes he sounded almost reasonably _intelligent_," Ron whispered out the last word as if it were blasphemy.

"Look this all changes nothing, well other than we now know that Lucius Malfoy is a sexual deviant and he uses crucio on Malfoy on a regular basis, and is not averse to sending his son to a dungeon for a few days. Malfoy is still going to be awful to us, he may not be a deatheater, but he still is a bully to everyone. This does mean that you can no longer taunt him about being a deatheater, and in fact you shouldn't taunt him anyways! You're just playing right into his hands, plus it sounds like he has just as awful a time at home as Harry does." Hermione said.

"Well I'm not going to be any nicer to Malfoy, that's for sure." Ron folded his arms over his chest.

"Yes, awful home life that he may have, that doesn't change who he is here. Where and when it matters Malfoy is still a bully and an awful person." Harry said opening the text that Hermione brought back from the shelves.

"You know Harry, that's exactly what I thought about Professor Snape the other day," Hermione said.

"Yes that's also something I wanted to bring up. What is going on with you and Snape? You've been watching him for the last few days, and it is starting to creep me out. Not to mention that during the incident in the hall you're pretty much the only one he looked at the whole time, and then he even lied for you!" Ron said actually looking rather creeped out. Hermione and Harry just stared at him in shock. "What you don't think I'm able to observe things? What is this?" Ron was starting to look annoyed.

"Well to be honest Ron, you haven't really been all that observant in the past," Harry said reasonably.

"Oh and you have?" Ron snarled.

"Touché," Harry grinned.

"I'm sorry Ron, we are being a little unfair to you." Hermione put her hand on Ron's.

"It's ok you guys, I know I have a certain image around here, just try to look past that." Ron turned his hand to hold Hermione's and smiled.

"We will," Hermione squeezed Ron's hand, "now get your homework done." Hermione got her Memoirs of a Geisha back out and settled down in her chair to read. "Oh and Harry, don't even think about throwing that quill at me."

"The thought didn't even come to my mind," Harry said as he lowered the quill and then diligently got started on is work.

------+------

Hermione loved her boys. She enjoyed hanging out with them, and they were the best friends she could ever have. However they were boys, and sometimes they just didn't get her. They wouldn't understand why Hermione was so interested in Snape. Alright that was being a little unfair, no one would get why she was so interested in Snape. The thing was that while most girls her age were more interested in men older than themselves, no one would go as far as someone as old as Snape. He was probably just around her father's age! Not only that, but Snape isn't what you might call attractive, well physically. However Hermione was a firm believer in loving the personality, rather than the outside. And Snape, well Snape had a personality. Sure he said awful things to his students, but when you analyzed what he said, it was all amazingly witty, and showed that Snape was beyond intelligent. And while just looking at him didn't inspire any sexual fantasies, when you added in the fluid grace of his walk, and the masterful way he uses his hands to produce potions, well the idea of him stalking towards her in order to use those oh-so-deft hands on her caused shivers to run up and down her spine. And Hermione had a vivid imagination.

Hermione had had experience with boys, and while she had never had sex, she had done a fair bit. Not with anyone in the school, she couldn't imagine that, what with the tight knit community that Hogwarts was. No her experiences had been with muggle boys over the summer. They weren't particularly skilled in any way, so Hermione spent a fair amount of time pleasing them than the other way around. And while she did get quite a thrill at being able to make boys lose it, she thought that there could be more. More than what the boys she was with could do for her, and she wouldn't get this more unless she looked higher than her age group. To more experienced men.

The problem with this was that teenage boys were easy to get. If you're reasonably pretty and a girl, well you're a shoo in. But men, she thought that men would need more than just a face and a body. They had meaningless unskilled sex galore as teenagers and young men, but at their age now they wanted a woman who could master them, or at least give what they got. Both intellectually and sexually. Hermione was reasonably intelligent, but sexually, well making boys come probably isn't very hard. And to tell the truth, Hermione wasn't into meaningless sex, she was looking for commitment. What man would commit to someone her age? It just didn't seem reasonable.

More specifically Snape, well he was her teacher. And that was wrong. Not to mention that now as a High Master in the Society for the Mastery of Potions, if he had a record of having a relationship with a student, he would be expelled from his position. Plus Snape was Snape; she wouldn't even know how to go about getting his attention. She could try and seduce him, but she doesn't know how to do that. It was an impossible situation. It would be better to just forget him.

Which apparently wasn't going to happen because the next day she got an owl at breakfast instructing her to meet Snape down in his classroom at noon.

"What does he want I wonder," Harry asked, reading the note.

"Well seeing as Hermione is the best potions student in the school, he probably just needs help with something," Ron said reasonably.

Harry and Ron had given up their antagonism towards Snape last year when he had saved them both from a group of deatheaters and almost dying himself in the process. Harry and Ron had unfortunately stumbled upon a deatheater meeting in Hogsmeade when they were skipping school one afternoon, and Snape had been there as a spy. He had given up his position as a spy in order to save their lives. Sure he wasn't their favorite guy nowadays, and he still antagonized the boys, but not any more than he did any of the other Gryffindors. It seemed that the days when Snape would pick on Harry just because he was famous were over. Now he just picked on him for being incompetent in potions. Not that he or Ron were, but Snape held really high standards, unreasonably high the boys would mutter when Hermione brought up this point.

"You know Malfoy isn't too bad at potions," Hermione pointed out.

"I refuse to believe that, he is just favored by Snape because he is Slytherin," Ron shook his head over his porridge.

"He's second to me in marks, in most classes, not just potions," Hermione countered.

"Unfortunately," Harry snarled.

Hermione licked her pointer finger and drew a line in the air. "That's another one for me boys. And don't you dare throw anything at me Harry."

"Wouldn't even think of it," Harry said, then he reached over and messed up her carefully made up hair.

"Harry! It took ten minutes to get my hair like that!" Hermione gasped and then jabbed Harry in the side.

"Wow it takes me a whole ten minutes in order to get ready in the morning," Harry grinned holding his side.

"Yah well you can tell," Hermione mumbled holding bobby pins in her mouth that she took out of her hair. She finally got them all out and just let her hair fall down, a mass of curls down her back.

Ron raised his eyebrows, "Actually Hermione it looks better that way."

"Yah right," Hermione said sarcastically.

"No he's right, wait just a second," Harry said, and then he went rooting through his bag and then pulled out a paper clip. He got out his wand and transfigured it into a dainty little hair clip and then pushed one side of Hermione's hair back and clipped it there. "There, now you look even better."

Ron and Hermione just stared at Harry for a second, and then Hermione said "Harry, that might've been the most random and nicest thing you've ever done for me."

"And the most gayest," Ron added.

"Yes well I live to please," Harry said wiggling his eyebrows at Ron and giving him a suggestive wink.

"Hermione jab him in the side for me," Ron rolled his eyes.

"Here Harry, this is from Ron," then she threw her arms around Harry and kissed his cheek. Harry laughed and put an arm around Hermione's shoulder.

"Thanks Ron," Harry laughed.

"Well I'm glad you're on my side Hermione," Ron said sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh we both live to please," Hermione grinned at him and kept wiggling her eyebrows until Ron burst out laughing. "I'm so glad I have both of you as my best friends." Hermione reached across the table so Ron could take her hand.

"You know, this is probably the cheesiest scene I've ever had to gag my way through," Ginny who was sitting beside Ron rolled her eyes.

"Aw we love you too Gin," Ron said as he put his other arm around Ginny. They all burst out laughing, and Hermione contemplated what she must've done in a life before to deserve friends like hers.

------+------

"You two are by far the most competent of all my potions students. And as such I am offering you the chance to gain extra credit as well as aid me in the brewing of a highly challenging potion. Being able to brew this potion is a pre-requisite for anybody wishing to become a Potions Master in the Society for the Mastery of Potions, and should you ever wish to become one you will already have had the experience. This is an opportunity not given to most students, and I hope that you two are wise enough to accept." Snape said from across the desk.

Hermione had arrived at the potions classroom and entered to see that Professor Snape was already there along with Malfoy. Malfoy snarled her way, but rather than rise to the bait Hermione just gave him a smile and a wink. 'That ought to confuse the hell out of him.' She then settled down on top of a desk, something that she would normally never dare to do, but for some reason today she was just feeling daring. Malfoy who was sitting in the desk beside her stood up, as did Snape. They stared expectantly at her, Snape with one eyebrow raised, and Malfoy with a slight snarl, so Hermione smiled nicely got off the desk and settled down into the chair behind the desk. Both Malfoy and Snape then took their respective places. Snape in the chair behind his desk, and Malfoy back down into his chair. When they both weren't looking Hermione rolled her eyes, 'what is this? A Jane Austen novel?' Obviously not as they were both supposed to stand when she entered the room. Damn she was played right down into her seat! Snape then continued with his little speech and then looked at the two of them expectantly.

"I think I speak for both of us when I say that we would be interested in pursuing this opportunity." Malfoy said to Snape.

"Speaking for Miss Granger now, are you Mister Malfoy?" Snape raised one eyebrow.

"Well it's not like either of us expect her to say no," Draco said, and then looked at her as if daring her to say no. Hermione just smiled sweetly.

"Well then we shall start on Saturday, and we will work on weekends for the next five weeks." Snape informed them, then waiting for them to disagree and refuse to give up their weekend time.

"With this be an all day endeavor, or will we be meeting at a certain time?" Hermione asked.

"We will meet at nine in the morning, and continue on till around 2 o'clock" Snape said and then dismissed them with a gesture.

Hermione and Malfoy left the room and started towards the same direction. Not meaning to walk beside each other, but still doing it, Hermione asked aloud, "I wonder if he is doing this because he is now a High Master in the SFTMP."

"He's a High Master?" Draco raised his eyebrows looking deeply impressed.

"What, didn't you know? Hermione asked smirking that she knew something that Malfoy didn't. Malfoy then realizing whom he was walking by and talking to huffed and sped off deserting her in the hall.

'Good riddance,' Hermione thought to herself.

It was interesting though, just when she wanted an opportunity to spend more time with Snape, it was handed to her. Sure she had to spend time with Malfoy now, but she also knew that he wasn't really who she thought he was either. Perhaps, just perhaps they could learn to get along, not that she really wanted to, but Hermione wasn't one to hate anyone either. And Snape, well if nothing happened with Snape well at least she'd get to interact with one of the top five potion masters in the world, not to mention the experience she would have that could help her become a potions master if she so wanted to. Overall this situation seemed positive all the way around.

------+------

A/N: I like writing the Hermione, Ron and Harry scenes they seem so cute together. If they seem too cute, well… I'm not sure I care. Hahaha. Sorry. I like them this way. Anyways if you liked it, or have a problem with something, review!


	2. Broom Stunts and Potions

A/N: Implausibleness ensues. Run with it. Please? Oh and holy OOCness, but there might be a reason. A-wink a-wink.

Hermione was one for a challenge, but attempting to play broomstick tag with Harry, Ron, and Ginny, while being terribly afraid of broomsticks seemed foolish. It looked like Hermione was foolish because there she was playing, but refusing to raise higher than 10 feet in the air, which meant that when she was tagged everyone had to drop and remain at most 10 feet above the ground. When Hermione played, they played Hermione's rules, which were no jostling each other on their brooms, and she is not to be expected to fly higher then 10 feet. To be honest she wondered why they even still asked her to play since she was obviously a spoilsport. However when she brought this point up they all said that there would be no point playing without her because it would be no fun. Apparently she was the life of the broomstick tag party.

It was a Friday afternoon, and somehow all four of the Gryffindors managed to get a schedule where they had the whole afternoon free. They usually spent this time outdoors, no matter what the season, which the boys complained about in the midst of winter, but Hermione was adamant about getting a certain amount of fresh air, but since it was the beginnings of spring the boys were practically carrying her outside.

"Hey I have an idea!" Ron gestured everyone to him excitedly.

"Oh dear, what now?" Hermione said while gliding over to where he was floating.

"What about we try to fly tandem?"

"Ron, we've flown tandem thousands of times,' Harry rolled his eyes. Sometimes they would force Hermione to get on a broom with one of them, promising that they would do nothing funny, but then take her on a ride of terror. While she did protest whole-heartedly during the flight, after she always reasoned that that kind of thing was what made a life exciting. She would never mention this to the boys though; soon they would have her playing quidditch if she ever even mentioned such a thing.

"No, no, I mean all four of us!" Ron said, eyes shining with excitement.

"Are you crazy Ron? Do you want to get us all killed?" Ginny was gesturing madly and managing to sound a lot like her mother.

"I'm with Ginny here," Hermione said, however she winced when she saw Harry's eyes light up. Anything with the words 'crazy' and 'killed' attached to it had to be done by Harry. He was after all a daredevil, there was just no getting around it. And when Harry got that look in his eyes, and Ron was on Harry's side, Hermione just knew that she would be dragged along as well, no matter what she really wanted. It was inevitable.

After all, friends forever die together. Or at least that's what it always seemed like, especially being Harry's best friend.

"Come on Ginny!" Ron whined, he already knew Harry was game.

"Listen, it's two against two, Hermione and I say no," Ginny grinned in triumph, apparently confident that the insane idea wasn't going to happen.

"She didn't say no, she just said she agreed with you," Harry rolled his eyes.

"Hermione?" Ginny said looking over at her to confirm this.

"Well… I mean it's inevitable Ginny! You know in your heart of hearts, in the back of your mind, in the nature of your very being, that come five minutes from now, we're all going to be on that broom probably flying to our death, but we'll all be on it." Hermione said, looking very sorry that she had to admit it, but it was true.

"Yes Ginny, you've been hanging out with us for years, haven't you noticed that when it comes down to it, Hermione is just as much of a daredevil as we are? She just pretends she's not, just like she pretends she doesn't like it when we terrorize her on broom rides." Ron said insistently.

Hemione stared at him in shock, was she that easy to read? Harry looked liked he was having an epiphany, and Ginny just looked skeptical.

"Now are we going to do this or what?" Ron looked at them all expectantly.

Apparently they were, because forty seconds later they were arguing about who's going to sit where. They had already decided that as the longest, and probably strongest broom, they were going to fly on Harry's firebolt. The problem was that the broom could sit at most three, and still be able to be directed. Anymore and they'd be falling off the end, and wouldn't have any control over where the broom flew.

"Look ok, I've got an idea. Harry will go in front because this is his broom and he knows it best. Then Ginny will go behind him, and then…" Hermione stared off into the distance looking queasy, "Then Ron and I will hang from one leg on the broom."

"Are you crazy? If anybody should be dangling it should be Ron and I!" Harry practically screamed at her.

"Listen, Ron's get a better build then you Harry, no offense, and there's no doubt that his legs are probably stronger. As for me, I've got years of gymnastics training as well as I run, so my legs are stronger." This was partially true, Hermione ran in the summer and when the boys were practicing quidditch, but she quit gymnastics when she was eleven and she went to Hogwarts, "Plus we can trust you not to fly us into trees or get us killed. You're the best flier of us Harry."

"This is silly, why are we even doing this? We're too old to be doing this kind of childish stuff!" Ginny threw her hands up in the air.

"Oh come on Gin, live a little,' Ron said while Hermione and Harry just tsked. 'Too old? Never.'

Apparently Ginny was the more realistic of the four of them, now that Hermione was a certified dare devil. _Apparently_, but Hermione was still a little bit skeptical of her new dare devil status, yet statistically she had said yes to dangerous stunts and situations more than she had said no. Did that make her a dare devil? And to think that she was firm in the idea that she kept out of trouble for the most part. Living a lie for half her life, why couldn't Ron have been so observant seven years ago? It would've made her life so much less conflicted. Then again, their group probably would've ended up something like the marauders if she had, and she wouldn't have been able to handle that extent of frivolity and rule breaking. Maybe she agreed with order and restraint in general, just not for herself. Funny that, did that make her a hypocrite as well?

"If you're done with the internal debate Hermione, could you please get on the broom?" Ron said, his face dangling around her feet. Harry and Ginny were already mounted in the air, and Ron had already taken his place dangling from one leg with his arms holding his foot to form a circle.

Hermione looked for a spot and decided that it would be safest for her to dangle with her leg between Harry and Ginny, and Ron was dangling just behind Ginny. In order to place herself she did a handstand right by the broom and Ginny took her leg and hooked it around for her and she slipped the other one under. She took one had and linked it with her foot, and then took her other arm and linked it with Ron's other arm. This was going to more uncomfortable than she thought. She already regretted not putting her hair in a pony tail or a bun that morning.

"Are you guys ok?" Harry asked sounding concerned.

"Yeah yeah, just get flying before our legs get tired," Ron said.

"Oh, Hermione, your shirt is running up. Er… down," Harry said.

"I hadn't noticed, just shut up and fly," Hermione rolled her eyes, there was nothing she could do about it now.

The actual flying was more difficult than they actually thought, and Harry stayed well near the ground, occasionally going too close and having Ron start a screaming rant since his head started dragging on the ground. Ginny the whole time kept confirming if they were alright, and telling Harry that we should stop this nonsense immediately. Hermione was starting to notice that it really wasn't all that warm out, and she probably should've tucked her shirt into her jeans, and that the tips of her hair were probably filthy. Harry was busy trying to keep control of the broom, apparently the extra weight on the bottom did something strange to his control, not to mention the balance.

"Alright this is getting boring, Harry go higher!" Ron screamed up towards him.

"Are you kidding? Do you want to die?" They heard Ginny start a long rant about stupidity, and the male side of the Weasley family.

Getting bored herself, and a little heavy headed, Hermione screamed, "Harry go faster!"

That was all he needed.

Suddenly they were shooting upwards at a fast speed, and Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were screaming their lungs off. That did nothing to stop Harry who didn't notice that the diagonal tilt meant that Ron's leg was slipping towards the end of the broom, and Hermione's leg was attempting to take Ginny towards the end of the broom which was in turn pushing Ron off.

"Level off Harry, level off!" All three of them started screaming.

"What!" Harry screamed back.

"HORIZONTAL!"

"Oh alright," And Harry stopped going upwards.

"Jesus, how did we not realize that was going to happen?" Ron turned to say into Hermione's ear.

"To be honest, I don't think we were really thinking at all," Hermione said starting to feel queasy when she noticed they were at least fifty feet above ground, and nothing would stop them if they fell.

"Hey Harry, if we go downwards, wont we start pushing you off the end?" Ron yelled up towards Harry.

"Yah probably!" Harry screamed back down.

"I TOLD YOU THIS WAS STUPID, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET DOWN?" Ginny was panicking.

"Hey you guys, not to panic you all, but my leg is starting to cramp up!" Hermione yelled upwards.

"WHAT?" The other three yelled.

"Okay we have to figure out a way to get down, without having to actually fly down." Ron said loudly.

"We could fly to the quidditch field," Harry said reasonably.

"That's an idea. Hey Ginny what time is it?" Ron yelled up.

"What? I'm not letting go to check my watch!" Ginny screamed.

'Fine I will," Ron said starting to let go of his foot.

'No! No I'll look," Ginny said carefully letting one hand go of the death hold she had on Harry, "It's four o'clock."

"We can't go to the quidditch pitch! Slytherin are practicing by now!" Ron yelled up.

"Shit!" Harry said unhelpfully.

"Well fortunately for Ginny and I, WE DON'T CARE! Unless you want me to fall to my death?" Hermione yelled up, the blood pooling in her head was starting to make her feel sick as well.

"Alright, alright, we're almost there anyways." Harry yelled down.

They made it to the quidditch pitch to find the Slytherin team running laps around the pitch. Apparently being able to run was part of playing quidditch well? But since they were all concentrated at their task they didn't notice the Gryffindors flying over head.

Unfortunately for the Gryffindor's they didn't fully understand the nature of the exercise either. Because suddenly they noticed the bludgers flying around and then hone in on the flying four.

"FUCK!" All four of them yelled, and then all the Slytherins looked up.

Harry moved into quidditch mode to dodge the bludgers without even thinking, and suddenly they were in a dive, and all three of them were pushing up on Harry almost forcing him off the edge of the broom.

"LEVEL OUT LEVEL OUT!" They screamed.

"FUCK I CAN'T!" Harry was screaming trying to pull the broom upwards to level out.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" They heard Malfoy scream up at them.

Whether the Gryffindors answered him was questionable since they were all screaming their own obscenities at the same time and being able to distinguish one word for another was difficult.

Hermione herself was still screaming for Harry to level out, even though she knew now that it was impossible. They were going to crash.

The pressure of their bodies against Harry finally pushed him over the edge, but he was holding on to the broom still and he just flipped over himself and was now dangling from the edge. This pulled the broom practically vertical and very soon they were going to crash and most likely Harry's legs were going to break.

In a last rational thought Hermione screamed for Ron to swing himself upwards and grab the end of the broom to even it out. Apparently Ron heard this and she hadn't screamed a garbled message because he managed to swing up grab the tail of the broom and let his legs go. This made the broom go considerably more horizontal, but they were still going to crash in a matter of seconds. Ginny getting the drift managed to somehow turn herself, leap backwards on the broom and dangle right beside Ron. Now they were balanced with Ron and Ginny hanging from the back, and Harry and an upside down Hermione hanging from the front. They were only three feet above the ground.

"Wow isn't it funny that Ron and Ginny together are the exact same weight as you and I Hermione?" Harry commented.

"Shut the fuck up Harry," Ginny said.

"Now what?" Ron asked as he noticed that they were going to reach the end of the pitch and crash into the stands.

"Does it never end?" Ginny wailed.

"Hermione somehow reach up and dangle from your hands." Harry said quickly, they were approaching at a very fast pace.

"Ugh, ok." Hermione was feeling sick but she managed to do it.

"Hey, the snitch!" Harry exclaimed and then reached out and grabbed it. However this action tipped the broom and they all tumbled off. The broom continued and crashed into the stands.

"Well that was close." Ron said from his position sprawled out on the ground.

Ginny started to cry.

"Hey what about the bludgers?" Harry asked, still clutching the snitch in his hands.

Hermione just groaned and accepted that she was probably going to die being battered by a bludger.

"I can't believe it, I just can't believe it,' they heard a familiar drawl over top of them and they all looked to see Draco Malfoy standing by them with his arms crossed shaking his head.

"How did he do it? He was falling to his death and he STILL manages to catch the snitch!" Blaise was shaking his head bewilderedly.

"What are you doing running around with bludgers loose anyways?" Ron said sitting up slowly.

"It's how we practice quick thinking. We don't have brooms to dodge the bludgers, we have to actually think fast to actually dodge the bludgers, get up and keep dodging them until they fly off." Draco drawled apparently pleased that he thought of this exercise.

"What happened to the bludgers anyways?" Hermione said looking around.

"My beaters have got them. Are you going to get her to stop crying or what?" Draco motioned towards Ginny who still had tears pouring down her face and was still looking absolutely petrified. Ron moved towards her but she turned and gave him a really vehement glare and then got up and stalked off starting a rant about how stupid and insane her friends were, and how she was probably going to get killed if she stayed in their company, all the while using extremely colorful language that even Draco looked impressed at.

"What the hell were you doing?" Blaise asked as he watched them get up and dust themselves off. Hermione was frowning at the mess that was her hair. Ron was inspecting his head for any bumps from the beginning of the ride, and Harry had gone to expect his broom.

"We were flying tandem obviously." Ron rolled his eyes.

"I didn't know that flying tandem meant almost killing yourself these days," another slytherin said, apparently he was one of the team's beaters because he was holding a bat.

"Well you try to fly four people on one broom!" Ron said his face starting to go red.

"Honestly Ron, don't get angry. To be honest if I saw the slytherins doing what we were doing I would think that they were bleeding insane!" Hermione said shaking her head, she couldn't believe that she had agreed to that stunt.

"Actually it was all rather impressive," Blaise said. Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Well you didn't see what we saw. There you were flying over us with two of you dangling from the broom and the other two on the top looking as if everything was just peachy, then suddenly a bludger comes chasing after you, Potter dives, you all flop towards the front, Potter flips over himself, Weasley somehow flips backwards grabs the end, the other Weasley turns practically flings herself off the broom yet manages to grab the end. It evens you all out just before you crash and probably die, and then to top it all off Potter grabs the snitch!"

"If I didn't know any better I would've thought that was all choreographed." Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Umm… yes that's exactly what it was…" Harry had returned with his broom still in perfect condition.

"I'd actually believe that except for the whole dramatic ending with the girl Weasley storming off proves otherwise." The beater said.

"What the hell is happening here, why are we still here and why are we talking to the Slytherins in a vaguely civil manner?" Ron threw his hands up in the air.

"Good point," Hermione said, and she turned to drag Harry and Ron off the pitch.

"Hey Granger, nice stomach by the way!" Blaise yelled towards their retreating backs.

Hermione gave him the finger behind her head, and she heard them all crack up with laughter.

-----+-----

It was a good question of Ron's though, what the hell _was_ going on? First she sees Snape grinning in the halls, then their whole Malfoy theory gets flipped on it's head, and then Hermione agrees to do something potentially fatal without even a second thought! And to top it all off they _were_ conversing in a vaguely civil way with the Slytherins. It was bordering on insane, and it was all out of character for everyone.

What were they thinking? They could've easily died. Although to be perfectly honest, as sick and as scared as she felt during and after the stunt, it was a pretty thrilling ride. There was something about living on the edge that made Hermione feel… joyous. However it was so out of character for her that she didn't know how to feel about it all. Had she changed? Had the universe changed? Was it possible for a person to completely change their whole personality in a few days? Or had she been like this the whole time and she just didn't know about it?

If anything was for sure, she certainly was enjoying life quite a bit more than she had been. She felt more alive than ever. Was it a bad thing that what she used to frown upon she now completely enjoyed? She enjoyed it before secretly, but now it was like she was embracing that enjoyment, and allowing herself to live completely. That was a good thing right?

"She's debating internally," Ron said to the Hufflepuff boy that was apparently trying to get her attention.

"Ahhh," the Hufflepuff nodded as if he did that all the time as well.

"You can leave a message for her with me if you want," Harry offered.

"Oh shut up you two," Hermione rolled her eyes, "Yes sorry, can I help you?"

"Yes, Professor Snape sent me to tell you that he wanted to talk to you three immediately," the boy gestured at the three of them.

"Well honestly man, couldn't you have told it to one of us?" Ron said a little put out.

"Professor Snape told me to tell Hermione directly since she was the smartest of the lot," The Hufflepuff shrugged, and then walked away.

"Well he's right after all," Hermione grinned at the two boys.

"Yes this from the girl whose smart idea was that two of us hang off the broom with one leg," Ron rolled his eyes.

"Well it worked didn't it?" Hermione raised her eyebrows as if daring them to say otherwise.

"Technically," Ron frowned.

"I don't think I need to emphasize my superiority to you by doing another air-tick, lets just let it be known that so far I'm winning a bijillion to zero." Hermione grinned smugly.

"Huh?" Harry looked confused. Hermione rolled her eyes, then licked her finger and made two ticks in the air.

"Wait why two?" Ron demanded.

"Harry," Hermione stated.

Apparently that was all the answer Ron needed.

-----+-----

They entered Snape's classroom to a very nervous Ginny give them an 'I'm so sorry' face, and to a cold but piercingly angry Snape.

"Sit down immediately," Snape barked out.

The three hurriedly took seats about as far away from the Professor as they could. Obviously Snape had somehow found about their broomstick stunt, and by the looks of it he had gotten the story out of Ginny.

"Closer," Snape snarled out barely audibly.

The three of them gave each other panicked looks and then sat themselves in the front row of Snape's classroom. Staring up at Snape was absolutely frightening, which was probably the point. They were acting like scared first years rather than the seventh years that they were. Snape took a few moments to slowly shrivel their souls with a death glare, and then he started.

"What did you think you were doing? I suppose that you believe you're invincible and that death can't touch you, but I assure you that that is not the case. Who was the ridiculously dim-witted, reckless, death-wishing, fool who thought it would be fun to risk your lives in such a stupid useless fashion?" Snape said, his voice utterly cold.

Ron winced slightly and raised his hand.

"I should've known it would be you Mr. _Weasley_," Snape snarled out the last word like is was the dirtiest word known to man, "So you decided that putting both your two closest friends, and your youngest sister into a potentially fatal situation would be what? Amusing?"

"Sir?" Hermione raised her hand slowly.

"And you! I thought you were supposed to be the _intelligent_ one of you three misfits. But apparently appearances can be deceiving. I had expected more from you Miss Granger. How can I allow someone with such a lack of common sense to work with me on a potentially dangerous potion, where one little slip could result in disaster? Is this how you show someone that you are trustworthy? By demonstrating that you are ridiculously reckless with not only your own life, but those of your friends as well? I have no doubt that had you shown a little bit of restraint you could've talked your misfit accomplices out of this foolish idea. As it is you not only agreed to the idea, but you even aided these other two into coercing Miss Weasley as well! And who's utterly stupid idea was it to have two of you dangle from the broom stick?" Apparently Snape thought it was Ron because he was directing his death glare at him and Ron was slowly wilting in his chair.

"It was me Sir," Hermione said calmly.

Snape turned to her with a disbelieving look on his face. Apparently she wasn't the only one having a hard time believing that she would've ever even suggested something so stupid. Unfortunately it was the truth.

"Get out of my classroom," Snape said so angry that he looked like he could barely contain himself. The four of them got up and were practically running to the door when they heard Snape say, "not you Miss Granger."

Not about to argue but terribly sorry for Hermione, Ron and Harry gave her a look of total pity. Hermione just bit her lip anxiously and turned back around and walked back to the desk. If Snape had looked angry before, now he looked like pure rage.

The door clicked shut behind her.

"What the _FUCK_ were you thinking!" Snape yelled flipping a desk over.

Hermione's eyes widened, if she were frightened before now she was terrified. What was wrong with him? She had never seen him so angry before, she had never seen _anyone_ so angry before.

"Did you want to die? Is that it? Want to go out with a big bang? Kill yourself and your three best friends all in one go? It would certainly make headlines, wouldn't it?" Snape hissed out vehemently, "best friend kills Boy Who Lived, and two of the youngest Weasley children."

She had seen Snape angry before, but this was beyond angry, and she couldn't even reply to him. She was frozen in her seat.

"What, no intellectual witticisms Miss Granger?" Snape's loomed over her.

Hermione just whimpered.

Snape paused as if considering something. Then he turned and opened a cabinet that was right by his desk. Digging through it he pulled out a blue glass vial and a glass the size of a shot glass. Filling the glass he then came back to Hermione and stuck it on the desk in front of her. "Drink it," he snarled.

It appeared that Hermione had no choice. But it wasn't like he would poison her right? She hoped not, but apparently she didn't know her Professor as well as she thought. A lot about this whole thing didn't make sense, why was he so angry? However she took the shot glass and tipped it back into her mouth as if she were taking a shot of vodka.

Immediately when the liquid hit her stomach it felt like ice had spread throughout her body. "What… what have you done to me?" Hermione gasped out, her voice getting smaller and smaller.

"What you are experiencing is what you very so nearly subjected your friends to," Snape said looking down at her. She was slowly slipping out of her seat.

"P…p…poison?" she whispered faintly.

"No, you're not actually dying, this is just a simulation." Snape said moving the desk back and then taking Hermione and lying her down on the floor.

From the pit of her stomach a numbness started to take her over. But it was more than that, it's like wherever the numbness touched, that was where her cells were dying, as if inch by inch her body were dying. When it reached her lungs she ceased to breathe. She was dying, she was going to suffocate. No, not going to suffocate, she had suffocated. Her lungs were dead. She felt her heart cease to beat, cease to pump the oxygen filled blood around her body. From there onward it creeped up and down, up through her throat and she could no longer speak, down through her legs which could no longer move. Bit by bit she died. She could twitch a finger, and then that too died. It reached her eyes, and she could no longer see. And then ever so slowly she could no longer think. Complete death.

There was nothing.

And then suddenly there was light. To be honest it wasn't what she was expecting but it was just as surprising. She flung herself upwards gasping for air, and screaming, just to make sure that she could breathe, that she could speak, that she hadn't died and that she was still alive. Starting to calm down she started to look around. She was lying on a couch in some unknown office. Green. She suspected that it was Snape's office.

Not really knowing what to do, and not really knowing what to think, she started to cry. She had experienced death, and to think that that was what she would've subjected her very best friends to. Snape was right, if she had only had just a little bit of self-restraint she could've stopped them. She just didn't want to. And that was the problem then wasn't it? How do you stop yourself from doing something you actually want to do? However dangerous it was.

She didn't wish to die, she wished to live. And throughout the whole stunt she felt so alive. Just as alive as she felt in that moment, right after she had felt death. It was like after some people have a near death experience they come back changed. She didn't have a near death experience, she had a death experience, no matter that it was simulated. Was it wrong? To feel so alive, but to live so dangerously? She didn't particularly feel the need to go jumping off cliffs right now, or to repeat the stunt, in fact the idea of doing such a thing just seemed uninteresting. Perhaps it's like what her mother once told her. In life you come to experience new things, and if you don't feel the need to do a particular something, it's probably because you've already done it in another life, in another time. Her mother was of the belief that our souls lived on forever, and we just kept coming back until we have experienced everything, and each successive life we work on experiencing what we had missed out on in the last life. This idea rang true to Hermione, but she had always believed that in her life before she had lived a life of adventure, and in this life she just wanted to settle down and live a slow but fully enjoyable life. But perhaps it was the other way around, perhaps that's what she lived in her last life, and she was only living it now because it felt familiar. It would make sense since she found herself in so many dangerous situations throughout the years that it was impossible to believe that she would ever lead just a normal slow life, perhaps this was to be her life of adventure. She certainly felt alive when she did do something daring, or something unexpected. Contemplating these ideas she suddenly felt alright, she felt calm. She had always felt that in order to have the life she thought she wanted she would have to work hard for it, but apparently all she did was have to wait for it. She now realized that she wanted to live a life of adventure, and it was just falling into her lap. Maybe if she embraced herself fully, things would become easier. And happier.

It was at that moment that Snape came walking back into the room. His eyes flashed concern for a moment, but only a moment, until they become cold and hard again.

"You're awake." He stated.

It all became clear to Hermione in that instant.

"I'm sorry Professor, I know you didn't risk your life to save them just so that I could kill them." Hermione said looking up at him from his couch. From the look on his face she had guessed right, this is what had been bothering him.

Snape stood there considering her for a few seconds, and then he sighed, and the anger drained from his eyes and from his body, he walked over and collapsed on the couch beside her. "I shouldn't have done that to you," he stated simply.

"No, you shouldn't have." Hermione agreed, then she reached over and put her hand on his arm smiling, "but I wont tell."

She was already out the door when she heard Snape say, "I'll see you tomorrow morning at nine Miss Granger."

She smiled and closed the door behind her.

-----+-----

A/N: Yes yes, that whole broom stick scene was very implausible, but it seemed fun when I wrote it. I didn't exactly know where I was going with it. To be honest when the broom starting plummeting.. shouldn't Hermione have slipped off over Harry or something? Maybe she had a tight grip on the broom with her knee? And exactly HOW were they balancing like that? Hahaha. Whatever take it as I wrote it :P And Snape went CRAZY! Perhaps it was all a little bit more than just the fact that she almost got Harry and Ron killed after he had saved them, ehh ehh?


End file.
